Thank you

I know I've been hit in the face by this before, but this is one of those things in life that I forget about until it smacks me in the face again. One of those things that I wish I'd remember sooner or just never forget. I was reminded today that while I'm learning something I need a lot of reassurance. That can be very annoying for the people around me, lately that's the ones that I trust enough to share my burden with. Sorry Neil and thank you.

Unfortunately I realized this a little late today. One of the people I respect and admire most in my job/workplace/library has taken the brunt of my desperate-need-for-reassurance. She manages one of the teams I work in at the library, and because I started in this team last September but have been left on my own lately I've been feeling a little out of my depth. Today involved being the only team member to be given time to do our work (one was sick, another is on a job secondment, another was off today because she worked Saturday, and the last just wasn't given time because he was needed elsewhere and is even newer to the team than me). It also involved a string of not-so-straight-forward queries and problems which I worked through as quickly as possible (I only had 1.5 hours to do the whole day's work). I left two problems unfinished, but both I understand and am prepared for the next step. I feel like I did good work today, and Jenny (my team leader) didn't get grumpy or short with my continual "just checking I'm doing this right." She finished my work day by congratulating me and saying it was all good practice. Thank-you Jenny.

I won't go into how wonderful Neil has been during my neediness-fest. I am being kicked in the ass by my coursework at the moment and lack classmates that I can discuss the topics with to give each other mutual reassurance. Today I reached out to a couple colleagues who were wonderful (Thank you Andrea and Thelma). Maybe the trick is to reach out to lots of people so as not to annoy any one individual. I'll work on my self-reliance too, but I know reaching out will always be a part of me. I hope that it makes me more approachable when someone in my life would like reassuring.